June? Really?

By | June 7, 2020

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song

I’ve always identified this song with distance running since it (and Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood) came on in he closing stretch of the race that made me a half marathoner. It’s also one of those songs that I heard for the first time live when she played on the Intrepid a few years ago. It’s such a beautiful and powerful song.

A lot is rightfully said about runners listening to their bodies. Less is said about listening to our minds. I think that’s always important go do, but crucially during the mess of these last three months.

Personally and professionally, I’m fine. I’m working, I’m healthy and speaking of the events of the last two weeks, I am privileged to be at no risk of being arrested or injured if I’m outside at 8:01 PM while curfew remains at 8 PM. Was I really OK? Are any of us? Probably not. The always awkward How are you? has become even more so now when we frequently don’t know colleague’s or acquaintance’s personal situations.

I kind of touched on it in a prior post, but I also felt it in struggling to get out of bed in the morning. Through running I’ve turned into a morning person, but all of a sudden getting up at 7:45 was hard. But it was a catch 22, because why get up if I was in physical pain and couldn’t walk/run the way I wanted to? So why bother. Although my social anxiety has been much improved by being around fewer people, my overall anxiety has not been great. I know I’m far from alone in that as we all struggle to navigate this utterly foreign situation.

What’s my point with this? Listen to your mind as well as your body. Talk to someone. Get professional help if you need it. There’s no shame in or reward for struggling. And I’m always happy to be that ear for anyone.

Me? I think/hope I turned the corner. What was part of my answer? Being able to see family in person. Physically being able to run again without pain. Being able to run in person with a dear friend.

I <3 my pigtail buns

Phase 1 starts Monday here. I don’t think it’s going to have much impact on my day to day life, but I am so glad what it means for some small retail businesses who I really hope make it through this storm. Current rumor on Phase II (aka hair cuts) is July. I’m not in any rush to get a hair cut, but it means I’ll hit my quarantime goal of a ponytail because I’ve been rocking pigtail buns for the last week. They make summer running so much easier.


as I worked on my spreadsheet for June (I clone last year’s so as not to have to redo the formula), something caught my eye on June 19:

  • 3.12 miles
  • 0:40:04 time
  • :12:51 pace
  • Marathon training day one: strides, gym stretch

Cannot believe a year ago now I was over thinking marathon training and I’m a few short weeks from having joined my first Rogue session. I love the people and coaches I trained with and could not have asked for a better marathon experience.

I still haven’t read Hanson’s First Marathon. In fact, it probably needs a new home. If you’re interested in reading it, please let me know. If it’s more than one person,  I’ll pick a name. I’m going to say US only because USPS is having issues at the moment due to COVID and I don’t trust that it will get to you.

Weekly Run Down with Kim and Deborah:

hi early spring weather on June 1

I love the fishes ’cause they’re so delicious

  • never miss a Monday: similarly to a few weeks ago, albeit with no snow, we had a huge weather swing and this run was in capris and long sleeves, although a tee probably would have been OK too. I won’t complain about mornings in the 50s as that’s sheer perfection for running. This was the first time I went all the way to the northern end of the East River loop, which means ~ 4 miles round trip. Although I tired in mile four, it felt good and pain free. Thanks to a current promotion, iced coffee is cheaper than hot at 7/11. Thanks for enabling me. My Peapod order came late morning and $36 of it was fresh and frozen salmon due to a sale.  Salmon + Capers = Heaven.
  • Tuesday:  I took a fairly long walk before work, and after work I happened upon the Black Lives Matter march in my neighborhood on their way down/across town from Gracie Mansion.  Especially poignant as it’s Pride Month were signs recognizing the LGBTQ communities of color. It was interesting to follow Blackout Tuesday on social channels and see how it was observed within my industry. Not only was a meeting cancelled in lieu of a time to reflect, but a meeting on Thursday was converted into a Zoom viewing of George Floyd’s funeral. I really appreciated both the person who requested it, and the meeting facilitator who immediately said yes.

hamming with Fred

strong fricken’ hams

  • Wednesday: Global Running Day. Elizabeth and I planned to meet at Fred, but I live closer and got there first and doubled back to meet her near my other favorite, A. Ham.  Despite doing four miles on Monday, my knee/hip felt pretty good and I ran home after our 5Kish in the park on a beautiful morning. Being with people in person is so important.
  • Thursday: a shorter walk before work, and a meander after to get a couple of pre-curfew errands in. I didn’t think I’d actually make goal, but I did rendering this the first work week where I hit my Fitbit goal daily since quarantime. While I meant what I said about numbers not defining me, it feels good to be more active. More normal.
  • Friday: four humid miles. Bawled through Fight Song. Hit repeat and listened to it probably four times in a row. Luckily it was early and I saw only maybe five people. That also meant I could lose the mask since I wasn’t wearing a particularly breathable one and it didn’t go so well with the humidity. I’m pro-mask, but I can’t wait for my Zensah mask to come so I don’t feel like I’m breathing through a sock. Ended up working later on Fridays than I normally do in summer so just had quick hop to the East River. Glad it didn’t rain too much harder as my umbrella wasn’t up to the task and ended the day in the trash.

purple power!

hi summer storms

  • Saturday: tested out my walking speed for (my) day one of Deborah’s RunBet since I didn’t remember to sign up before my run on Friday.  Syncing with Garmin is so much better than the last time I tried and I really didn’t have an issue keeping walk under 18mm despite the humidity and getting out later than I wanted. After that, I had a lovely afternoon reading in the park. So grateful for the state tree of NY, scaffolding, as the storm wasn’t long enough to go back upstairs. And I made it until June for my first sunburn. ALways seem to miss a spot with sunscreen.
  • Sunday:  we walked some, we ran some, we mostly sat on a rock and talked. Came home to charge phone, get Kindle, make dinner so I don’t fall into pizza again later and head back out. There’s a park bench with my name on it which I’ll be re-claiming soon. It is too nice to be inside.

Go The Dist:

Had a laugh  as I looked at #GoTheDist YTD:

  • 1,790,005 steps. LOL. Those five. Crucial.


  • 334,400 steps
  • 145.14 miles run/walked
  • 36.65 miles run.

Between no commute or marathon training, and continued recovery, June is going to look very different to June 2019. Only goal is continued running without pain


19 thoughts on “June? Really?

  1. Liz Dexter

    I can’t believe this time last year I was practising all I could on the trails for the ultra – shocking! I love your pics and your comment about being aware of both mental and physical health. I started spiralling down a bit in the week and have been very rigorous about bedtimes since, as that’s a real trigger for me and I cannot sleep in in the mornings, especially with the light.

    I’ve been saved by being able to run with another person, too. I’m doing it a few times this coming week. And I love the pigtails – I’ve gone pigtails to pony tail this last couple of weeks and now I can do ponytail without buff with two hairpins for non-running if I want it off my face. Lockdown goals, eh?!

    1. cari Post author

      There hasn’t been a ton to look forward to, so we’ll take the hair wins where we can. I can manage a pony tail if I’m stationary but depending on where my piggies are, they can be zoom presentable if needed in a flash.

      We sat on a rock for most of this morning’s workout. She’d run 8+ yesterday with 800s in there and give me a rock in the sun with a breeze and yeah, running can wait.

      Pushing myself into a routine of getting up by 7 has helped too I think. Too much snooze doesn’t help

  2. Beckett @ Birchwood Pie

    Running without pain is always the #1 goal. I’ve been doing a lot of “this time last year” reflections lately and wow, it’s so unreal to think how much has changed.

    1. cari Post author

      A year, three months. It’s such a weird time warp

  3. Kim G

    I hope that phase 1 is successful tomorrow. NYC has really been in a bad place for months but it seems like things are finally turning a corner. I know that everyone is anxious to get back to “normal” but honestly, I don’t even know what that looks like anymore.

    Can you believe that I’ve never tried salmon? You inspired me to try it at some point this summer. I’m not a huge fish eater, but I love shrimp.

    1. cari Post author

      Yeah, I think normal is gone, sadly, I think/hope we can find a way to move forward – although that’s about to be as overused as pause was. “New normal” needs to take a hike though, along with “unprecedented times”.
      Given the number of people who cross between NY/NJ/CT for life and work I hope they figure out some continued coordination.
      Salmon is amazing. It’s one of my favorite things to eat and definitely my favorite fish. It’s a mild one, so I think it’s a good one to start with. Tilapia too. Neither fights much with whatever you season/put it with. Let me know how you go with it. I just made another batch for tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s lunch

  4. Deborah Brooks

    I am so glad that you had a better week. I agree that seeing family and friends in person can be so beneficial. I am so happy that you had a better week. Continuing to run without pain is a great goal! Thanks for linking up

  5. Wendy

    That is such a great song and was on my running playlist forever. Guess I need to add it back! Tough times for everyone, especially those of us with anxiety. Stay strong, my friend. You ran a marathon. You can do anything!

  6. Darlene S Cardillo

    So happy to hear things are better – both mentally and physically. I think IMO it’s due to having seen your family and having run/walked with someone else aka Elizabeth. Human contact is important.

    I do not know how you can run with a mask. Yesterday, it was so humid that I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t wear a mask. Looking forward to seeing your face again.

    I have been running and walking and hiking alone for weeks. I didn’t realize how much better it is now that I am seeing friends (still at a distance).

    I really want to HUG someone …sooon!! And get my hair colored and cut – JUNE 16!!!! Hooray. No one cares but I do, I guess. Self care is important too.

    Stay Healthy. We’re in Phase 2 and Phase 3 on June 17. You need to plan an upstate visit.

    1. cari Post author

      I’m going out early again this week so I can lose the mask, if needed/safe to. Today I actually ran with a normal medical mask and that was easier, although we didn’t run hard by any stretch. I have to have it with me to go in a shop after the run, but I am selfishly glad I’m not running any distance with a mask. I think the selfie from this morning is still trying to send. We didn’t twin.

      I’m trying to grow out my hair, but I know I”ll end up cutting it all off. Current plan is to grow out the grey though and see what I think of it.

      No upstate plans anytime soon unfortunately. Can’t social distance in a car and I’m not getting on a train

  7. Coco

    I think the only goal for June should be survival. That could be challenge enough. I appreciate you opening up about your mental struggles. I’ve been OK, but I think being able to see my Mom almost weekly and my son once in a while helped a lot. And work has kept me busy 10 hours a day, and I’m good at compartmentalizing. 😛

    LOL on those 5 steps — they are critical!

  8. Zenaida Arroyo

    Hugs to you! How is it June already? The hair salons are open already here but I have yet to make an appointment. Last time I went was in March so I am due to go this month. I wonder if I can wait a few more months?

    1. cari Post author

      I’m in no rush as we’re not going back to the office anytime soon. I can happily manage summmer in pigtails so long as I don’t need to be professional. LOL. I can pull them out for zoom meetings. Thank you!

  9. Lisa @ Mile by Mile

    It’s good to hear that NY is finally in a good enough place to start reopening a few things. We just entered Phase 2 but it hasn’t affected my day to day life at all. I’ve now gone 1 year and a few weeks since my last haircut. No idea when Ill get in for one but I am planning to chop it all off.

  10. Marcia

    Cheers to a better week! I really need to go see my mom. She’s been doing a great job of staying in but I can at least bring over lunch and sit in her yard. It’s been too long. The freaking year is slipping away. I need to check out Zensah masks. While I’ve had really good luck on Etsy, my latest mask purchase said it shipped but never arrived and then it was canceled. Boo. I’d say pain free running is an awesome achievement!

  11. Judy @ Chocolaterunsjudy

    Running without pain is always my first goal. Seriously. Now, if I could find more energy — that’d make me happy.

    Poke can be made with salmon, too. Just sayin’. Of course it has to be good salmon. gonna be a hot one again mid week.

    Happy that you get to run with a friend!

    Luckily I love a ponytail and/or braid in Summer. 🙂

  12. Renée

    I totally understand the listen to your mind as well as your body sentiment. Last year was really hard and there was a LOT of mental stuff going on and I had to “share” it because I felt, well… really bad. I think my pendulum swung back a bit last week (first two weeks of quarantine mind all over the place, last 9 weeks fine, except for last week). My biggest issue is really seeing everything that is going on in the US and not being able to do anything about it. Though that’s not true, but unfortunately I cannot monetarily support all that need my help right now. Anyway. Just to say, I agree. This is life and it doesn’t have to be, nor is it realistically perfect all the time.

    Running without pain is a GREAT thing. Keep going for that.

  13. Jenn

    I’m glad you’re doing ok. I have strings of days where I struggle to get out of bed and keep moving, but I keep pushing through because I’m not sure what the options are.

    Fight song is a fantastic one. I could see having that hit me right in the feels.

    I hope you are pain free soon!


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