Tag Archives: weight loss

Invisalign is the new Weight Watchers?

Over the weekend I was kicking myself for missing my Weight Watchers anniversary, but then on the way home today I realized that I got my Invisalign very close to my WWversary. Now what on earth do braces have to do with WW (which I haven’t followed since Dec ’10 anyway)?

I’m down 4 lbs this week because Invisalign has *touch wood* kept me from snacking. It’s also my inherent laziness paying off. The m&m or whatever isn’t worth going to the bathroom, taking aligners out, eating whatever, going back to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and putting them back in.

Some wise friends said this isn’t going to last, but I’ll take it while it does. Maybe I’ll re-break a few bad habits while I’m at it?

Unrelated unexpected side effects: I’ve made my lunch for all of this week and made it last week too. I had no soda today. That was accidental I’m cutting back (hate Sprite, hate straws) but didn’t expect to go a day without.

But I still don’t like the taste of plain water.

photo 1

Invisalign, one week in. Aligners on.

Invisalign, one week in. Aligners on.

2013: Pretty Well Done

Perfect? No

Well done? Absolutely

From the end of January through January 1, 2014

From the end of January through January 1, 2014

That graph is from when I restarted through today. Was the year perfect? Nope. But I ended 2013 17.3 lbs less than where I started it. That’s good.

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.

I was very good with mini goals and quarterly goals this year. Time to look back at 2013 and set some new ones for 2014:

January

  • Blog. Yeah, we’ll see how that goes. But when I was losing, I was blogging. So we’re going to try it again. I wasn’t very good with it this summer and fall but I was thinking about blogging even if I never got to writing.
  • On the writing theme, I’m tracking. I was a master at tracking way back when and it’s time to go back. I don’t see what my road block is here. I face the foods when I see the number on the scale, it’s time to face it in my tracker. I tracked today. Including the m&ms. That’s a start. I have been very good at tracking. I’d say 95% overall, when I don’t it’s not because I don’t want to face it, but rather because I leave it too long and don’t catch everything. But I still give myself an A- here. ETA: I almost didn’t track Christmas but then felt guilty. So I went back and tracked it. It wasn’t pretty but I dealt with it.
  • Money. I joined Run With Jess‘ DietBet challenge at the instigation of a Hive friend. It cost me $10 but I will lose my 4% and if I do that every month it won’t cost me another cent I don’t think. AND if I hit the 4% goals each month (a big if, I know), I’ll hit goal by July, which gives me plenty of breathing room if I have an off month. Well I didn’t hit it in July or September, and I got bored with DietBet partially because I wasn’t losing at that rate. I ended up buying the iPad I was thinking of anyway and I love it. ETA: thinking of starting a DietBet again to kick start me.
  • #GoTheDist. I gave up on tracking this a chunk of the way through last year although I continued to track my workouts in MapMyFitness. But the challenge is a great motivator and it gets me to the gym when I don’t want to go. A+ here. I beat my goals and tracked throughout the entire year.
  • Smoothies. Yep, back to smoothies for dinner. They help with the salt retention and they give me my chocolate fix when I otherwise eat things I have no business eating when I get home. This didn’t last, I lost my appetite for them. Do I miss them for my chocolate fix? Yes.
  • I’m not giving up soda. Not yet, at least. I was the queen of fake lemonade last time and while I’m contemplating getting a soda stream, I’m not ready to make the switch off soda. I’m afraid I won’t drink enough until it’s warmer. But it’s diet soda so that’s a partial win. I’m drinking too much soda, and probably too much coffee, but that’s not changing right now.
  • S is for Spark. as in the Spark to get to goal. As in SparkPeople. If I do what I did with Weight Watchers online, I can make it work with Spark. There is no difference in the foods I’m eating. I love LoseIt, and as  I mentioned above, I’m tracking.
  • I’m going to get my knees to the point where I can do more than one squat, or I’m going to quit putting off knee surgery and get it done. This one is still up in the air, but my knee isn’t holding me back too badly.

April

  • Exercise everyday. It doesn’t have to be the gym, and my 64 stairs a day probably count anyway, but with the weather getting nice there’s no reason not to spend some time outside walking, etc. Especially because I’d really like to finish the Great Manhattan Loop. One thing I realized when I was home for about ten days in July is how much I walk by default when I’m here. There are sloth days, but I think I’ve been good on this step. And I finished the Loop and have started on another goal with the bridges.
  • Eat better. Not just within the calories, but more fruits and vegetables. It’s the perfect season. Eh, sort of. I give myself a C here. ETA C-, but I’ve been a B+ of late so I’m getting back.
  • Diversify my breakfasts. I’m getting sick of Cheerios. I think there are better options to keep me fuller too. Straight up D here. It’s coffee, cheerios or both.
  • Set a goal. Maybe even a Goal. Time to figure out what I’m working toward. F. F – if possible.

October/Q4

  • Stay on track and finish strong. Fall is crazy at work, but that’s not an excuse to undo all the progress I’ve made this year. I wasn’t perfect, but I was pretty good. I didn’t gain over my birthday, Thanksgiving, the gala or vacation. I’m happy with this.
  • #GoTheDist Q4. Detailed yesterdayDetailed above. Nailed this.
  • Better food choices. Goldfish aren’t dinner and coffee isn’t breakfast. No comment.
  • Set a Goal, goal, oal-gay or what have you. Time to stop this ridiculosity and just do it. Um, I plead the 5th

So mixed results, but I’m overall happy because I kept thinking about the goals I’d set and why. So, with that in mind, here are some ones to start 2014.

2014

  • Meet or exceed my #GoTheDist goals.
  • Specifically, exceed my Q4 2013 GTD totals.
  • I’m not sure LoseIt’s 147 days is realistic, but 2014 is the last year I will start overweight
  • Learn to cook. I’m already laughing at myself for this one, but I really wish I could. I think it would make some food choices better.
  • Get back to a regular gym schedule. It sounds cliche, but I feel good when I go. So I need to GO
  • Relax. Keep doing what I did last year. It (mostly) worked and I’m on the right track.

Chubster: where reading and weight loss intersect

Part of the reason for the increased number of book reviews here is simple, an increase in reading. It’s partially the iPad, partially more down time, but whatever it is, I’ll take it. It has led to this blog being a bit disjointed but, to be honest, it always has been at heart.

Anyway, Chubster, a “hipster” weight loss guide from a self-called hipster in Phoenix.  I’ve really lived here too long if I think his hipster habits are completely normal and anything super hipster-ish, except talking at length at how the Chubster non diet is better than every other diet out there. Oh, and everything is ironic. No one ever just does something, they do it….ironically.  That said, it was a fun, light, two-day read.

 

I really liked his start with calorie counting. As I mentioned, I decided to break from Weight Watchers this time and it’s always interesting to see others facing the same internal debate. I truly don’t understand the national fear of calorie counting, especially with the umpteen smart phone apps that will now do the math. I lost weight more quickly when I was doing WW, but I also had a lot more weight to lose then I do now. Of course I was going to lose more quickly. I also shared his issues with Points Plus. I don’t like it when weight loss methods change with the latest fads. If you stick with science* you understand what causes weight loss and how to “fix” it if you go off track.

You don’t have to worry about a company changing a formula or deciding that the old program (under which I actually lost 50 lbs) suddenly “wasn’t right” and needed blowing up to attract new members. Weight loss as a business is infuriating and, I believe, contributes to the nation’s inability to keep weight off. It’s OK to teach people about the current hot trend, but if they don’t understand the basics… the science, they’ll regain and spend more money on a company’s product.

The fact of the matter is, there’s nothing wrong with being fat. Or, at least there’s nothing wrong with you because you’re fat…  It’s not a character flaw … But “happily fat” is not a sustainable…There was little chance I could plan to be indefinitely overweight and keep that little pink heart on my Facebook relationship status intact.

This was the part that resonated the most with me. It wasn’t a slurpee that got me — or someone pointing out the calories in a slurpee, but rather thinking I’d gained 5 lbs in four days. It wasn’t so much an ultimatum as a realization that I didn’t like that me. I look back at my Whys? and realize how different that person was, yet I still see some of her in the current me. I see some of Shauna in me. That won’t change. It’s how to get past that part of me.  Oddly? when I refocused in January it was some of the same position — I felt horrible in my skin. I was done talking about finishing the weight loss and was ready to just do it.

Four doughnuts with coffee or one bagel with cream cheese and a skinny chai: your choice. Obviously I’m not saying that four doughnuts is a good breakfast for someone trying to lose weight; I’m just saying that a bagel and cream cheese isn’t any better.

The forbidden food thing he said he wasn’t going to do? I agree with him in the silliness around Weight Watchers’ “free” foods, but he’s doing the same thing here. Forget his silly gingerbread ban, but he’s saying avoid bagels because they’re high in calories — but go ahead and eat the frozen food that’s just as bad? It’s not that he (or WW) are right/wrong, but I think that in trying to prove himself “better” he also acknowledged the inexact science/”black magic” behind even calorie counting. He returns to his anti bagel quest later when picking the good/bad choices at a number of restaurants: No: The multigrain bagel is on the “DD Smart” menu, but it has 390 calories plain. Is a dry multigrain bagel really what you want for almost 400 calories? I doubt it. That’s the same as their eclair, and it isn’t anywhere near as delicious. Actually, I disagree, bagel > eclair any day, but also a bagel with peanut butter will actually keep you full longer than a sugar bomb of an eclair. Does a bagel compare to a more balanced breakfast? Maybe not, but to compare it to an eclair while arguing about the merits of Super Size Me? Come On.

One of the great things about the Chubster plan is that it lets you choose between Hi-Fi and Lo-Fi options, from the iPhone to an old-fashioned Moleskine notebook. Chances are, you cringed a little when reading either “iPhone” or “Moleskine.” That’s normal. Most of you will find one of those things indispensable (or at least desirable) and the other useless, annoying, and overpriced to the point of being

This is exactly why I don’t understand why people have such an aversion to calorie counting. You don’t need any tools, but if you are the type of person who prefers tools, there are a metric ton of apps for the various devices with which to do it. That’s part of why I don’t understand one of the primary criticisms of the Up. While an instant readout can be nice, syncing to phone isn’t really an issue and if you’re not the type of person who carries a phone regularly, these smart phone enabled devices probably aren’t the best fit.
One of the best thing about this book was his insight into the calorie counts for some foods. Some I knew, but for some I had the same challenge as he did in a) making healthy choices, b) finding the NI for non chain foods. For example, I still cannot find the calorie count for my occasional indulgence – a glass of Stella, so I was grateful for his type by type analysis.
  • the inability to eat 10 oz / 1500 calories of blue cheese dressing in one sitting vs. absent-mindedly consuming about the same as a dip is frightening, and eye opening. After a (tracked!) indulgence tonight it was horrifying to see how many calories are in so-called  “appetizers”. No wonder the country has an obesity issue.
  • On the Americanization of food: Rollatini isn’t actually a type of pasta. It’s not even an Italian word, but in the American version of Italian food it means something breaded and baked. This is also the case with sushi — which in Japan lacks things like cream cheese and fried chicken – takes otherwise healthy or semi-healthy food and turns it into complete rubbish. Which is why you have to read what you’re eating, or as close of an approximation as possible. And speaking of reading, and tracking.
  • People bash McDonald’s, but they’re the motherfucking Gandhi of chain restaurants compared to the Cheesecake Factory. Now, taking the Cheesecake Factory back to the woodshed is the bread and butter of the Eat This, Not That series … so I won’t rehash all that, but it’s absolutely true that they sell salads with close to 2, 000 calories in them and you should avoid eating there on the Chubster. People assume salads are safe and McDonald’s, evil. While I don’t blame Spurlock as much as Cizmor does, I do think the media has gone after fast food in a way they haven’t gone after family style restaurants — but maybe they should. 2,000 calories for a salad?!?! That’s ridiculous and irresponsible.
  • Maybe Pollan’s credo ””Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants” and avoiding anything his grandmother would not have recognized as food” would be an effective weight-loss plan, but I haven’t heard of anyone succeeding that … Instead, Chubster is all about taking advantage of every modern convenience afforded us. In my unapologetically innovationist view, technology got us into this mess by making it possible to consume so many cheap calories while being so sedentary, and it’ll somehow get us out of it. … I have very little interest in killing any animal myself or getting up early on Saturday morning to schlep down to a parking lot and pick out vegetables I can purchase for a similar price at a nearby grocery store, even if they do have the best arugula ever. Sorry, but that’s just not my scene. Maybe people like Pollan are right that the stuff we eat today isn’t even “food” and that it’ll eventually poison us; however, life expectancy seems to be on an upward trajectory even if the light sour cream we now eat doesn’t fit an organic dairy farmer’s definition. Maybe I’ll be proven a fool, but I’m putting my faith in common sense and scientific

I’ve read some of Pollan’s stuff and while I like the idea of eating cleaner, I also agree with Cizmar, there’s limited practicality to it today – or need. We’re not meant to subsist entirely on processed foods, but I think there’s a reason we’ve also evolved from hunter/gatherers.

That’s not to say I always agree with him, in some cases I think his premises, especially on what constitutes a “grown up” drink are ridiculously off base. Tequila shots are “the grownup way”? No, shots belong in the frat house along with the other wisdom he’s trying to throw up. Are sour apple martinis not ironic enough for him?

You can still enjoy everything that plumped you up, you just need to do it in moderation and mix in more activities. Hey, as it turns out, even an evening Slurpee isn’t off the table. Remember the Slurpee that changed my life? The one I had on the way from that awful Dave Matthews concert lo those many moons ago? The one that prompted the stern lecture from my girlfriend that, in turn, launched my weight-loss project? Turns out, that Slurpee was the last one I had for nearly two years. Not that I stopped wanting them. I’m a sucker for pretty much any frozen confection and have always had a soft spot for the sweet, slushy treat favored by Bart Simpson. Since losing 100 pounds, I had allowed myself occasional indulgences of most types on limited occasions (see above), but never a Slurpee. Then, one day, things came full. … On my stop home I was lured into a 7-Eleven for a giant diet fountain soda. Instead, I found something I hadn’t seen before: a Diet Slurpee. Now, the Crystal Light Slurpee isn’t calorie-free. There are actually 80 calories in a 16-ounce serving. But after hiking 7 long, steep miles, I was certainly willing to allow myself such a splurge.  …  This is what I’ve come to realize: There are two ways up the mountain. You can drive up with 600 calories of sugary ice in your hand, or you can walk up and drink the artificially sweetened version. One route is wide, paved, and busy; the other, narrow, a little rocky, and far less crowded. One will give you little tastes of life as we were meant to live it from time to time; the other will immerse you in it fully. We all choose a path, consciously or not.

But he redeemed himself… and ended the book on the strongest note. I haven’t yet gotten to the point where I can have the “diet Slurpee” (or, for me, diet Sour Patch Kids), but I understand the feeling the wanting to prove your dominance over food. I can do that now with chocolate chip cookies (but not dough). I can do that with Subway. One day I’ll do it with Sour Patch Kids… one day.

* speaking of which, Gary Taubes’ Good Calories, Bad Calories  and Why We Get Fat are on Mt. TBR. It’s not that I think he’s completely wrong, but there is something to be said for the basic math of calories in, calories out vs. trend hopping.

Weigh In: April 7 and Accountability Redux

Loss Since March 10: 1.6 lbs

Total Loss: 16.8 lbs

I could look at that and be disappointed, but I’ve instead chosen to focus on the last two weeks where I got back on track.

I was so good through March 10 but then some things popped up and I wasn’t. I still tracked every mouthful but I wasn’t drinking enough and made some less than ideal food choices when rushed/stressed/out of my comfort zone. Within the last two weeks I’m back in my own environment where I can more easily control my choices, on a more normal schedule (goodbye 16 hour days) and I feel better about it. Still, life is going to happen and I need to figure out how to better manage that. On the plus side, I didn’t gain other than water weight, I just didn’t lose.

I have my regular check in with my endocrinologist on Tuesday and time to see where my numbers are.

Time to revisit my Accountability post two months later and see where I am.  Original comments struck through with new text after.

  • Blog. Yeah, we’ll see how that goes. But when I was losing, I was blogging. So we’re going to try it again. Honestly, pretty good. I will never be a daily blogger but I’ve kept up pretty well. And I read the few blogs I follow daily or every other day.
  • On the writing theme, I’m tracking. I was a master at tracking way back when and it’s time to go back. I don’t see what my road block is here. I face the foods when I see the number on the scale, it’s time to face it in my tracker. I tracked today. Including the m&ms. That’s a start. I have tracked every day since, every morsel that went into my mouth. I think (shocker, shocker) it’s  a big reason I’m losing. I’ve also kept up my #GoTheDist tracking even though my goal is unattainable. Oh, and I haven’t touched m&ms since Jan 29.
  • Money. I joined Run With Jess˜DietBet challenge at the instigation of a Hive friend. It cost me $10 but I will lose my 4% and if I do that every month it won’t cost me another cent I don’t think. AND if I hit the 4% goals each month (a big if, I know), I’ll hit goal by July, which gives me plenty of breathing room if I have an off month. I had my off month. And I jumped right back in the game with a $25 buy in. To be honest, that was free from my winnings in the first DietBet but it doesn’t mean I’m working any less hard to win this one. I want the pot, in part to go toward my new iPad.
  • #GoTheDist. I gave up on tracking this a chunk of the way through last year although I continued to track my workouts in MapMyFitness. But the challenge is a great motivator and it gets me to the gym when I don’t want to go. See bullet #2
  • Smoothies. Yep, back to smoothies for dinner. They help with the salt retention and they give me my chocolate fix when I otherwise eat things I have no business eating when I get home. I started with this, and then I got bored. I just can’t do them daily like I used to and I still don’t really like bananas. But I’ve moved toward other, better evening choices like Jello and hard boiled eggs. Evening eating has been going well although I need to break the newly reacquired Tasti kick.
  • I’m not giving up soda. Not yet, at least. I was the queen of fake lemonade last time and while I’m contemplating getting a soda stream, I’m not ready to make the switch off soda. I’m afraid I won’t drink enough until it’s warmer. But it’s diet soda so that’s a partial win. And I got a soda stream. Just bought but haven’t yet tried the diet lemonade for it. I’m totally addicted to fizz and seltzer is nice. And I’m getting as turned off my Diet Dr. Pepper was I was by Diet Coke so maybe that’s my body voting.
  • S is for Spark. as in the Spark to get to goal. As in SparkPeople. If I do what I did with Weight Watchers online, I can make it work with Spark. There is no difference in the foods I’m eating. As I mentioned, I went to LoseIt. I never really liked Spark and used that as an excuse not to track, which is ridiculous. But I haven’t missed a single meal since I switched to LoseIt and I’m thrilled. It’s easier to use and works well for me.
  • I’m going to get my knees to the point where I can do more than one squat, or I’m going to quit putting off knee surgery and get it done. N/A

It was a start, and a very good one. I’m proud of my progress although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I’d lost a little more. But I know how to fix that. Now time to set some new measures of accountability in addition to continuing the ones above:

  • Exercise everyday. It doesn’t have to be the gym, and my 64 stairs a day probably count anyway, but with the weather getting nice there’s no reason not to spend some time outside walking, etc. Especially because I’d really like to finish the Great Manhattan Loop.
  • Eat better. Not just within the calories, but more fruits and vegetables. It’s the perfect season.
  • Diversify my breakfasts. I’m getting sick of Cheerios. I think there are better options to keep me fuller too.
  • Set a goal. Maybe even a Goal. Time to figure out what I’m working toward.

DietBet Round 2: Official Winner

Congratulations, your final weight has been verified!

You are now an official winner in your dietbet game!

You will be splitting the pot with the other lucky winners of your game.

We’ll follow up shortly with details about your winnings once all player weights have been finalized. In the meantime, think about what you are going to splurge on!

WooHOO.

I didn’t end up as far down as I thought I would because my scale has been all over the map and I did my final weigh in in the evening but. WOW!

The goal was 4% of my weight per Diet Bet guidelines, but I lost 5.4% if my excel calculations are right. 5.4% in one month. That’s awesome and I am proud of myself.

Perhaps the single most reason I was able to exceed this month’s goal? I tracked. Every single day of the last four weeks, I logged every morsel (down to one dorito one day) in LoseIt. I think that was even more crucial than the m&ms I ended up giving up.

I’m still not ready to set a Goal (and was glad to realize I’m not the only one who has a goal fear) but I’m going to follow Jess’ lead and set a few mini goals:

  • Lose another 4%. I know at some point my weight loss will slow down but it doesn’t need to be this month. I realized from my spread sheet that if I hit the 4%s I will hit one of my goals by mid June. I want to get another solid step in that direction
  • Track. That’s what I did this month, that’s what I did when I started this back in 2010. There is no excuse not to track because it’s all tracked on the scale anyway
  • More water, less soda. OK, at least more lemonade.

Maybe more tomorrow. In the mean time, I’m tucking into the peanut butter sandwich I’ve wanted for two days. #HappyCari

DietBet: WI 2

WIs for Diet Bet 2 and 3

WIs for Diet Bet 2 and 3

also known as “I don’t see it in the mirror daily but I definitely see it in the photo.”

This also has to be the first time where the first place the weight (or lack thereof) has shown in my face before anywhere else.

I haven’t officially won Round 2 since weigh out isn’t tomorrow but barring diving into a massive salt vat, I will. WOW. I’m not sure what it was about DietBet that gave me the kick in the ass I needed, but I’m definitely doing Round 3., which starts Monday.

Here’s to another month of good food choices, successful weekends, and a behaving scale.

Weigh In: February 17

Weekly Loss: 1.8 lbs

Total Loss: 10.6 lbs

Ahh the early stage “honeymoon”. I know I won’t lose 10lbs in 3 weeks going forward so I’m definitely going to enjoy it.  I’d love if I could consistently lose almost 2 lbs/week. This week was a bit odd. I’m sick again and haven’t felt hungry. I actually thought that, per my LoseIt numbers, I’d be lower. But… a loss is a loss.

Had a scale freak out at the gym yesterday. I don’t normally weigh myself there because it’s later in the day, I’m clothed, etc. But when I lose I don’t always trust my home scale so I wanted to double check it against another scale. The gym scale is new and it turns out it’s one of those like the Biggest Loser where the numbers go crazy before settling in. Didn’t realize that and freaked at first. In the end, it verified my home scale (taking into account clothes, water while working out) so yay!

This week is going to be crazy, but here’s to another good number and finishing off DietBet strong.

Days

11 days back OP

11 days tracking

10 days ( 8 work days) without m & ms although I badly wanted some when I was still at work at 9p yesterday and I had no Cheerios or snacks.

Yep, this is all day by day.

It’s Week 2 so I don’t have the w1 losses, but I’m not using that as an excuse to say “oh fuck it” as in “I’m not losing so I might as well not try”. Even the day that I fell into the bag of candy, I didn’t let it turn into days… and I tracked it.

I’m also fiddling with calories day by day. When I started Weight Watchers in March 2010 it was pre Points Plus and my point total a few months in, without using weeklies and/or APs, was about 1000 calories. I didn’t realize that at the time, and by the time I did I was set in my eating routine. According to LoseIt, I should be eating about 1300 calories a day. So I’m keeping a close tab on my numbers and seeing what works the best for me.

I just know for sure I’ll keep working it each day.I’m 82% of the way to my DietBet goal. I will do this.

One Week

and not BNL’s One Week which is in my head for some inexplicable reason.

I have officially tracked everything for one week. I can’t remember the last time I did that. I’ve tracked about one week with a day or two missing because I didn’t want to face it or some other excuse, but not this time. I really think my head is finally back in the right place to finish this.

and maybe it’s no coincidence that I’m down 6.2 this week. Hello water weight but I’ll take it.

Huge thanks to Britt, Jess and Robby for kicking my ass and lots of advice. <3 you.

And now? I tuck into this salad that is roughly the size of my head.

“Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy. Like Kurosawa, I make mad films, ok I don’t make films, but if I did, they’d have a Samurai”

Confession: Scale Wench

I like “wench” better than “wh0re” but when it comes to the scale, both are true for me.

I can weigh myself daily and it doesn’t make me (too) crazy. I’ll even weigh myself multiple times. I just need to know where I am. Non-scale cues don’t work for me especially since I have yet to learn to properly use a measuring tape. Yes, I’m special at times.

Weighed myself this morning knowing it would be up because a) couldn’t bend my fingers and b) overnight cankles. Hi. Crazy salt in Knorr Rice Sides buffalo chicken, anyone? Saw the number, shook my head, started drinking. At day’s end? I’d peed about 12 times and my night weight was 2 lbs less than my morning weight. Good sign but further proof our bodies are nuts.

Proud of myself today. I tracked everything (except 4 m&ms as I couldn’t figure that out) and stayed OP.

I WILL DO THIS

Currently reading: Tales from the Scale. I see so much of myself in there, it’s eerie.